Can I act? Yessir. Can I do voice over? Absolutely. Do I have the equipment? Yep, yep! Can you get a hold of me?
No.
Heck no.
I exist in this vortex where three weeks ago feels like yesterday. And 3 years ago feels like last month. I just float, suspended in time.
I am a ghost that haunts a living space lined with disorganized cords and wires. I trip over piles of empty juice boxes and squeeze myself a path through stacks of books. And there's this dark corner in my kitchen that keeps making creepy crawly noises. What is it? A beetle? A raccoon?! I'm too afraid to check.
The month that I launched my website and announced "being back" literally all the things happened. All the things I hate and fear came falling from the sky. I tried smiling and figured....life is just exacting its tax on me for every person I've hurt or disappointed. But I hear that's not a thing. Either way, just as I had said I wouldn't let this kind of stuff get in the way, stuff got in the way.
I know I'm probably not alone. I know a lot of you are trying to imagine what I could possibly be going through that makes me so unavailable, so flaky, so hard to capture.- Since you've likely pushed yourself through worse. Well I have no definitive answer for you except that I'm probably going to be this difficult to work with for a long time.
If the directions of a job are unclear, if my environment is too loud, if the quality of my work isn't perfect, if I'm not going to get a dopamine hit off doing the work right away. Whatever
little
thing
isn't aligned,
I'm stuck. I don't move.
So yeah. I suck at this. I mean even in my interview about doing the voice of Pipistrella, it's mentioned how hard it was to correspond with me. And guess what, I haven't done any new work since June. No artwork, no voice over. Nothing.
So if any of you want to work with me, I am grateful. But I think I will be taking down my website this month, it costs to have it up and it's not being utilized. And following that, I will be consolidating anything else I can. I just need to take it easy.
I'm still here. You can talk to me. But I'm not the able/level minded person many people imagine (or expect) me to be. Maybe, in a vacuum, without variables, I'm a stand-up person. But that's not life. Nobody exists in a vacuum. Except maybe tardigrades.
But anyway.
It's not you, baby.
It's me.